Every newspaper circulating across india has almost the same general pattern with respect to its contents. The sports column is pretty much the “Here’s what is going on in sports aside from cricket, the greatest sport to have ever been played on the face of the earth and also the only one that counts.” It will feature the highlights from all sporting events covered in the way an engineering student would answer a 15 mark to which he has no clue about. Next comes the part of the newspaper which is responsible for actively striving to make a difference in the country and bring about a revolution against evil. This part of the newspaper feeds us all sorts of important information like what Sanju baba ate for breakfast or the detailed breakdown of Suzanne Roshan’s alimony amount correct upto 8 decimal places. We reach the front page after skipping what is essentially the Telebrands of the newspaper industry, which usually contains one of two things- Heart breaking Disasters or Politics. Off late, I’ve been coming across too much of the former topic on the front page, which is saying a lot when you’re living in a country whose political system resembles a badly done reality show like Bigg Boss or the News Hour.
Of course, after events that just unfolded yesterday, one does not need to rewind his memory too much to think of heart wrenching events that happened. The ISIS and Taliban have collectively made it easier for us to recollect acts of inhumane terror. It is pretty rare for an event to be of such a large scale that it creeps onto your timeline rather than stay desolately positioned in a corner of your newspaper page. For those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about, let me elucidate.
Religious fanatics have a knack for taking things way too far. Think of them as the dumb geeks in the front of the class. They are usually not as smart as the other first benchers but they have an ego the size of their Golden guides. They will indulge in any form of ass licking to get a grade comparable to the smarter first benchers. The Taliban are the religious version of these faggots. Since they cannot follow the less vocal path of peace and tranquility to acquire a good name in the eyes of the imaginary guy in the robe, they will resort to hateful acts of terror in the name of god to proclaim their badassery. Discontent with merely the atrocity, they feel a compulsive need to justify themselves by contorting the facts into their own version of it. In their latest debacle, one of the members from this organization thought it’d be a good idea to enact out a Tarantino movie inside a school with children.
130. That is the rough estimated count of the children who died in that school yesterday. Here is where the stupidity of theTaliban becomes obvious. For an organization to shoot down students in a country whose GDP and literacy rate soars dangerously close to my CGPA, this is absolutely stupid. This however does not mean that I endorse the genocide of students in Norway, fellow keyboard warriors across the globe waiting for an opportunity to type out a rebuttal rant. I don’t want you to Taliban up what I’m saying here into your own contorted version of it.
Although this article is mostly fuelled by the more recent acts of terror in Syria, Sydney and Peshawar, I want to talk about a more underlying problem with terrorism. You know, besides the fact that it’s taking an uncomfortable number of innocent lives. My main beef with these shit stains is the fact that they cannot be reasoned with. They are not psychopaths who have a mental problem; they are rationally thinking humans who plan out this course of action without ever flinching once. My problem with terrorism is the aftermath of all these events where politicians come and give us excuses about how intelligence failed and how the police were too slow to act. My problem with this entire organized crime is how the policemen would rather beat up couples in a park than find their morality and do the same to the grandmother glasses wearing politicians with a tilak giving them orders.
I remember after the 26/11 attacks how the entirety of the news channel network in India focused on how the Anti Terrorism cell drew out a timeline complete with 3D renditions of the path taken by the terrorists and their strategies. There was a 1 hour feature on how they resorted to eating dry fruits because it was high on energy and easy to carry, complete with expert opinions from dieticians. Manmohan Singh would come to the press with his statements and excuses as compiled on Sonia Gandhi’s macbook. Arnab would write down his 5 word debate and call on Sanjay Jha and some bearded retard from Pakistan and say how terrorists are cowards. All this while Ajmal Kasab put his feet up inside his air conditioned cell while his chicken biriyani arrived at room service.
If you closely analyze any issue, it would always closely boil down to religion, general stupidity or the annoyingly clerical nature of the government. There is absolutely nothing keyboard warriors like me and you can do about this. I can act like a concerned citizen and pen down various articles and euphemize them into shit like ‘open letters’ or ‘response to responses by a response to a response of an open letter’ and share a few other articles that will move you. I will never come close to eradicating or even getting a terrorist to read what I have to say about him. Given that most terrorists wouldn’t figure out how the buttons on this machine make the lighted screen change, I wouldn’t expect them to do anything except preach their religion or have carnal intercourse with a camel.
But by all means, send Barkha Dutt and her crusade of journalists to the school to analyze what the kid from 6-B got for lunch that day and how his father works at a construction mine at minimum wage. Go ahead and tediously describe how you would mutilate and torture an ISIS member if you ever found one. Share and retweet open letters by famous personalities and call them a brave comrade for sharing their feelings. Debate on Quora, comment violently on YouTube videos, pick up a fight with the closest muslim in sight. Participate in widespread candle light vigils and wear a black arm band so that terrorists watching the news broadcast on their iPhones can shed a tear and proceed to kill another 150 people. Not a soul is going to stop you. But remember, not a soul is going to stop them either. This is what disturbs me the most when I see these events. This is how one gets away with murder.
Like it or not, the entire fiasco will eventually stoop down to the age old blame game where someone genuinely expressing his concern on the issue will be branded a racist pig for the wrongful portrayal of a religion and end up facing more government punishment than the guy who has the blood on his hands. I can loot, murder, embezzle, conspire and rape for all I care but god forbid I like a status on facebook. It’s time to stop reading your fictional books about god and get on with your own sense of morality. It’ll be quite a while until everyone puts their toys away, but unfortunately, there is no catalyst to this process. In the mean time, let’s just go back to things that actually matter. I heard Sanjay Dutt had masala Omlette today.
The Daily Offensive 