When I set out to start a blog, I asked myself : What distinguishes me from the rest of the fish in this contaminated pool of students that is engineering? Then it struck me. I was amazing at offending people. People talk about how easily a particular subject or a sport comes to them and believe me, I’ve tried my hand at most of those and you can guess how they ended up, considering I’m not a 9.6 GPA student or a renowned sports personality. You must be wondering why I am rambling about these random facts when I should just go back to my original content and make fun of Culture, Iyers, Gujaratis and people in general. So here’s why this post is digressing from the usual
Recently, after the most recent post that is, “The Hypocrisy Chronicles” I received a lot of mixed reviews from friends and family about the overall content filtering I must incorporate in my articles so as to stop life threatening repercussions from people I offend. So this article is the much needed disclaimer my blog needs. Think of it as the Shah Rukh Khan scene from most of the movies nowadays. No, not necessarily from his films- I’m talking about that anti tobacco ad in which his lungs make a special appearance and exude more tar than the entirety of Kodambakkam.
Now there are two ways I could tackle this disclaimer notice. I could either go through it fast like that mutual-fund-investments-are-subject-to-market-risks thing or I could convince people using logic and reason into not taking any offence. I’m going to use the less traversed path of logic here because stupidity has already been maxed out in this country. Let’s get right to business now with the general disclaimer points
– This blog is in no way in support or against any particular political party. It has been created just to make fun of them. Don’t blame me if your party or constituency has indulged in a higher amount of stupidity than the rest. We understand how much of a task it is to sound the least stupid. I do Engineering.
– As an atheist myself, I do not bias myself towards any religion whatsoever. All of them are equally screwed up if they are inadvertently responsible for a group of stupid extremists acting like overenthusiastic English teachers and deriving their own interpretation of the fairy tale they believe in.
– So obviously this blog was not made for entertainment purposes, I could have made Vine videos or posted links to Koffee with Karan episodes for that. This blog was written with the sole intention of putting out my thoughts irrespective of how you feel towards it. Nothing I have said on this blog has any ‘wrong’ content, just maybe crudely put offensive content. Taking offense over some content here is purely your fault, and in no way mine.
– Unless you’re mentally still stuck up in 896 BC, you would know that you cannot survive in this world without embracing your stereotype. If you’re from Andhra, you’re probably the kid who mugs up the calendar. If you’re from Delhi, you’re probably a dude-bro who says stuff like- “what bro menchester unity losted yesterday. Shit ya dimaag kharab hua hai”. Stop blaming me for highlighting the most popular product from your factory.
– There will be no edit outs of any sort unless I’ve gotten my facts wrong. I don’t really spend my time researching on much data and if I’ve said any facts wrong, please tell me and I will correct it immediately. However, if something offends you or makes you uncomfortable, try opening the windows of that narrow path you call your mind.
– Lastly, if you got offended for anything I said about Sonam Kapoor or Rohit shetty, I would kindly ask you to just close this page and give up whatever you feel. Like your pulse or something. (For lack of a better phrasing to “haha kill yourself”)
– Just because we are in India, I will have to make this bullshit disclaimer stating that I do not endorse suicide because of my previous comment. I don’t want India TV at my house the next time some teenager commits suicide.
I could brandish the “I AM AN INDIAN AND I HAVE A RIGHT TO FREE SPEECH IN THIS COUNTRY” card anytime but we’re in India and the only thing that can be brandished here is your caste and your money. The closest we are to free speech is, Arnab Goswami and funnily, he has gained this level of freedom by denying the people on his show their right to speech altogether. Having said that, I’m actually pretty lucky that, most of said politicians wouldn’t be able to comprehend a sentence like- The existing strata of fraudulent excuses for life who masquerade as the harbingers of contentment and glee must be castigated with punitive measures such as watching Dabbangg 2. Their reaction would probably just be like “hehe dabang bola”.
Also, most of our leaders are from a different generation. Mostly around the cretaceous period or something. Finding something offensive is a far enough goal for them considering they would spend 73 hours finding the dot after www. It is to you mediocre IQ population that I send out this humble plea to. Stop being such a stuck up L.K. Advani and start having an open mind about the content here. I may have come off a bit rude in this article but I want you to know, I love it.
P.S – Obligatory Culture joke : What is the difference between Jesus Christ and a photo of Jesus Christ?
..You only need one nail to put up the photo
P.P.S- Don’t be a smartass about it if you’ve already heard the joke.
The Daily Offensive 